Why I Should Always be in Charge

I was put in charge of our orientation group while the leaders (still just students themselves) went to go get something from the vans or I don't even remember.
When they came back, we had started a massive game of tic tac toe in the sand using our paddles and then when we had a ties or a win or lose, we'd battle it out with our paddles, jedi fight style.
I was also usually the steerer in the canoe and even through the rotating of partners, I would call out "Ceviche!" when I wanted my front person to switch sides because I decided that switch was a lame word.

"If you get on their knees and jump off that rope, I'll give you a prize."
"What about challenge by choice?"
"I'll give you the last few brownies."
"Screw challenge by choice, I want BROWNIES!"

-----------
"Memories turn to dust, please don't bury us,
I got you, I got you."

I<3Yonce.

Gina, and Other Things That Make Me Laugh

I have too much to say, so I'm going for bullet point form today.  If you don't like it, I totally respect your opinion.
Lol, psych, leave.

--------
-"Gina wants a hamburger rawwwrrr"

-"Hey Gina isn't allowed to drive!"
"Gina the Vahina does what she wants!"

-"Hey I just blew a lot of blood out of my nose, you know, about as much blood as the wieght of a human baby."
"There was a lot wrong with that sentence that I don't really want to re-hash."

-"What the hell? How was that on the top charts? Clint Eastwood doesn't sing!?!"
"clearly, you were born in the later 2000s because it's a song. By Gorillaz."
"Wait who are Gorillaz?"
"Alright yup, you can get out."

-"Gina, stop dancing!"
"GINA THE VAHINA LIKES TO DANCE."


---------
"My defeat sleeps top to toe with her success."

Matilda

A letter to Ruby Rose:

Dear Ms Rose,

while your acting really isn't that bad, I'm kindly going to ask you to stop pervading my favorite shows because you are seriously making me question my morals (or what is left of them), and now, you have me wanting to put myself in prison just so I could get a glimpse of Stella and keep in mind STELLA ISN'T REAL. 

cordially yours,

K.M.R.

--------

But actually, she's so attractive in a way that even straight people can admire.  Go figure, she's foreign.  

--------

"I only call you when it's half past five."

All That, and More

"I sound like a whale!" *makes whale noise*
"Yeah you look like a whale too"

-----

"I make the corniest puns known to mankind.  Wanna know why?"
"Why?"
"Because I'm from Corning, New York.  Get It?!"

-----

Late Tuesday night, a blond headed girl woke two girls in a kings size bed up.  "Can... Can I sleep with you guys?"
Sleepily, they nodded and they were one, for one last time, wrapped up in floral sheets from the seventies, in a king-sized bed with three pillows forming to the shape of their two blonde and brown streaked with blonde hair.

-----

"I'm borderline happy and I'm borderline sad,
I'm borderline good and I'm borderline bad."

Afterglow

This happened in poetry class where we are trying to write a poem about how stereotyping and misjudging people is bad (duh).  And one of the stereotypes was that one of the girls in my class was a mean girl/bitch.  So then, we all started calling her Regina George.  And then this happened.

"Raise your hand if you've been personally victimized by Regina George," everyone raises hands and laughs.

"I'm going to bully you all until you STOP calling me Regina George!"

"Whatever you say, Regina."

After that, we all dissolved into laughter.

"gotta eat the booty like pears......"

Barely Legal

Yesterday I had to go to the doctors and found out I need and mri and possible surgery, if they think what's wrong with my knee is wrong with it.
To figure out that my Meniscus is probably torn, they had to poke and prod my knee for a good twenty minutes (which felt oh so good!) and afterwards my mom felt so bad for me that she stopped at one of my favorite sandwich places.  And then as we were about twenty minutes away from me having to go back to school, she suddenly got this devious look on her face and trying to keep her tone stern she said, "You know, I still have to get gas and you have so much to do that we should probably stop and get a creemee and then you should probably just stay home all afternoon because, you know, you have a lot of important things to do."
I missed a math quiz.  It was kind of awesome.

Best part? We'd filled up for gas not five minutes before that.

"I wanna steal your innocence
To me my life, it don't make any sense
These strange manners, I loved 'em so
Why won't you wear your new trench coat?"

For the Record

If you don't know, I got accepted into this absolutely kickass college and I cannot tell you how excited I am to go to it.  Now here's a fact about the college which actually doesn't bother me in the slightest because it isn't a big deal but seems incomprehensible to many of my peers; it's an all girls school.  I have a few thoughts about this:
1. First of all, it's in the five college consortium so there are boys around, it's not like they staple a sign above the door saying, "No boys Allowed."
2. No I am not a lesbian.  stop asking if I am lesbian.
3. If I was a god damn lesbian, I could have gone to a school with boys.  It's not like all girls schools are just for lesbians.  It's a good school, fuck you and your judgemental attitude.
4. Who cares whether or not I am a lesbian? Why does it matter?
5. Fuck you, my school is rated higher than yours, so deal with that.

"Emma eats bread and butter
Like a queen would have ostrich and cobra wine
We'll have satanic christmas Eve
And play piano in the chateau lobby"